What.Have.I.Done?
I don't think last night's conversation was quite nine hours but it was a lot more than twenty minutes and I only wound up getting five hours of sleep.
I couldn't stand the not knowing for a month and a half so we spent a while trying to figure out a meet in the middle solution. Basically all of those are more inconvenient with more awkward possibilities than the alternative of my going to NY or CPG coming here which we had both already dismissed.
So, don't ask me how the last thing we talked about wound up being him booking a ticket here in two weeks.
TWO. WEEKS.
WHAT am I going to do with a guy who has always lived in big cities in podunk not the south-not the midwest? I can't think of anything fun to do. He'll be bored. I'll be all tense and freaked out and what I'll learn in two weeks is that he doesn't really like me and this won't work and I am a pathetic loser.
I'm surprisingly, really actually alarmingly calm. Don't expect that to last. I certainly don't. But, at the moment I'm just focused on what I need to do to have a house guest in two weeks.
And, the mere fact that he would blow three hundred bucks on a plane ticket to come visit me? Jesus. And I even sent him the I look all flabby and pudgy like I actually am so I never send anyone this photo photo. And I told him he would be bored and I wouldn't be able to come up with anything fun to do and I would undoubtedly freak out 'cause that's just what I do. He has certainly dealt with more than one freak out.
I must just be too tired or drained to freak out. And I have too much stuff that I have to get done.
Now I'm freaking out about not freaking out.
It was bad enough with BelgianDTD and I didn't have any like feelings for him, that was more "oh that would be sort of cool." This has true meltdown potential. Betcha money that he didn't get the ticket yet because he's anticipating a one eighty here.
FUCK. I really like this guy.
I couldn't stand the not knowing for a month and a half so we spent a while trying to figure out a meet in the middle solution. Basically all of those are more inconvenient with more awkward possibilities than the alternative of my going to NY or CPG coming here which we had both already dismissed.
So, don't ask me how the last thing we talked about wound up being him booking a ticket here in two weeks.
TWO. WEEKS.
WHAT am I going to do with a guy who has always lived in big cities in podunk not the south-not the midwest? I can't think of anything fun to do. He'll be bored. I'll be all tense and freaked out and what I'll learn in two weeks is that he doesn't really like me and this won't work and I am a pathetic loser.
I'm surprisingly, really actually alarmingly calm. Don't expect that to last. I certainly don't. But, at the moment I'm just focused on what I need to do to have a house guest in two weeks.
And, the mere fact that he would blow three hundred bucks on a plane ticket to come visit me? Jesus. And I even sent him the I look all flabby and pudgy like I actually am so I never send anyone this photo photo. And I told him he would be bored and I wouldn't be able to come up with anything fun to do and I would undoubtedly freak out 'cause that's just what I do. He has certainly dealt with more than one freak out.
I must just be too tired or drained to freak out. And I have too much stuff that I have to get done.
Now I'm freaking out about not freaking out.
It was bad enough with BelgianDTD and I didn't have any like feelings for him, that was more "oh that would be sort of cool." This has true meltdown potential. Betcha money that he didn't get the ticket yet because he's anticipating a one eighty here.
FUCK. I really like this guy.
posted by barrie at 10:28 AM
11 Comments:
Now you're freaking me out :)
Seriously though, it'll be fun and you'll be fine. Don't worry.
What the pup said. Breathe. Relax. Sleep. *S*
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There's still more to do in NY than there is here!!! Maybe I should make him drive down to see you with me A ;)
Relax. Hmmm, seems like I've read that word somewhere before, what does it mean again???
What, me worry?
Seriously, thanks guys :)
well i hate to disagee mr grieco but yes there is that much to do in new york city. but who knows i might like the speed of life in this neck of the woods as well.
Maybe in New York you have more galleries, theater and tourist stuff, and different shopping etc. but when you live in a big city day to day it's still the same routine, and going out is going out, the people are basically looking for the same things everwhere... the only major differences I've seen in the USA is where they offer somthing different like hotter women or gambling or scenery. My mother said to me when we were kids staying with my dad's family in New York that it was her idea of what going to hell would be like...Last time I visited jews were shot on the bridge. Hell they kill people down here every day too.
Hi, CC,
I'm a "Stumbler". Just wanted to tell you it can work. Same happened to me although the scale was a little smaller being in the UK, but I moved several hundred miles to be with someone I met on the net and it works superbly - real soulmates at last, and I'm a fair bit older then you I think!
Good luck. BTW, you've got another reader - I gotta find out what happens next! :)
Steve.
UK
Hi Stephen, thanks for the vote of confidence :)
Traveler, he keeps saying that I'm not really trying to sell him on not-really-the-south-not-really-the-midwest. Maybe I should get you to write a pitch.
A, I really like him. Play nice, k?
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He's visiting you to visit you, not go sightseeing. Sure, show him around, but you don't need to entertain him. You both need to really get to know each other. This is a good thing. Even if it doesn't work out. You need to know if it can or not.
Have fun. That's an order. heh And stop worrying. We'll still be here for you.
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