Saturday, October 01, 2005

I should be on a plane right now.

I really planned to sleep way, way in this morning but I woke up at my normal eight o'clock and the bird heard me and wanted out of jail. There are tons of things I could/should do this weekend. I would enjoy some of them. I would make money on some of them. Have to say, I'm inclined to go buy some Nyquil so I can truly ignore the entire weekend. I'm not going to but the thought did cross my mind. Crying gives me a headache and makes my nose run. Not to mention making my skin all red and blotchy. I'm not a pretty, Meg Ryan/Demi Moore crier.

Fabulous. I have got to get off all these fucking bird lists. I now know that he spent the day in the park hanging out with some little gay boy whose (female) roommate has the hots for him. I needed to know that. Someone shoot me? Please?

I know, I know. I don't want to be with someone who doesn't care about me but oh god I want him to care about me. At the very least I want him to be heartbroken that this didn't work too.

Two weeks ago when the bird list was so dreadful I wanted to do an audiopost to the bird's blog calmly explaining my feelings on the subject and signing off the entire thing. He talked me out of it. I knew that I needed to do something like that. I need closure and that would have been a reasonable way for me to achieve it. By not doing it I continued to expose myself to all this hatred until I just could not handle it and said something very mean to someone on the list. Now, that person totally deserved to have something mean said to him but it leaves me in a bad position because I said it and I think it totally freaked CPG out that I would do it. Moral of the story: I know what I need more than some guy who has only known me, mostly online, for a few months. And I have got to get the fuck away from these fucking bird lists.

I will never date anyone I met online again. Three strikes. No more. Granted I may just never date anyone again but...sigh.

I'm supposed to be on a godamned plane right now flying to NY to see my boyfriend.


Blogger anthonygrieco said...

Hey I think meeting someone online only works when you're stealing someone's husband or wife...(that's what I hear from all these construction workers who say they'll never have the "intra -net" in their house agian because their wife left them for a firefighter they met online after 9/11...)anyway dammit fuck all that other stuff Italians say when they're mad. This fuckin' guy... Anyway you have to NOT let this guy ruin things for you. I have struck out more than anyone I know and it hurts but I keep on going. I got horror stories from women who tried to conspire to get me killed and jailed and all that other shit when all I did was give a damn. This shit is hard sometimes. You gotta take care of yourself no matter what these fuckers do.

10:02 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home