WTF is it with me....
...and people who think I need to change every blessed thing about myself while they're freakin' perfect?
Not going into too much detail 'cause I'm the idiot who can't keep an anonymous blog anonymous but seriously I'm more than a little sick of it and starting to feel like the only thing really wrong with me is that I am willing to admit that I have faults and failings and that I work so fucking hard all the fucking time to try to please people by changing whatever fault or failing they're focused on right at that moment and that I somehow get entangled with people who not only think they know everything about everything but who can't give any positive reinforcement to save their sorry asses.
Whew.
This is how I spent my day. Thoughts?
Not going into too much detail 'cause I'm the idiot who can't keep an anonymous blog anonymous but seriously I'm more than a little sick of it and starting to feel like the only thing really wrong with me is that I am willing to admit that I have faults and failings and that I work so fucking hard all the fucking time to try to please people by changing whatever fault or failing they're focused on right at that moment and that I somehow get entangled with people who not only think they know everything about everything but who can't give any positive reinforcement to save their sorry asses.
Whew.
This is how I spent my day. Thoughts?
posted by barrie at 9:48 PM
11 Comments:
You have to stop measuring yourself by what others think. You might focus too much on your failings, but so what? The only person you, as an adult, have to answer to, is you. It would be great if you can develop more confidence but no one can force that on you or cajole you into it, or decree it, or whatever. It has to come from you and in its own way on its own schedule.
Don't let folks like that get you down, okay?
Oh, and that logo is cute.
It's like giving other people contol to admit your insecurities or the fact you're human or the fact you make mistakes. I learned this the hard way. Every time i shared things about myself with others to "connect" in a more human way, it seems that those things are used against me. Sometimes when you're just being open people think you need "fixing", or are asking to be fixed. Now in your case there are times when you actually "reach out" for advice , and people try to help. That creates an assumption that you are less than perfect, and then the other thing people say are partially from a sense of responsibility they feel they've taken on to "fix" you. Not that it's the right way to think...
Let me give you an example... you've said before you have a problem with your weight at times, or want to drop a few pounds. Someone (like myself or that jerk off Dog trainer you know who) offers you advice , in my case I've been eating clean and exercising since I was 15 years old, so I feel like I learned things myself that can help others. In theat process, I may see some other thing that's eating you or causing you pain,( maybe a byproduct of the first problem) and offer advice on somthing else. Sometimes people don't mean to be critical , some folks get off on feeling "superior" as well and aren't as well meaning. This is the price you pay for being honest about your fears and self doubts.
On another note sometimes change is good for you. You sort of "gave in" to your male friend and started being a little neater around the house, got more "mentally busy" about yourself, and seem to be a little more into life and feeling better about who you are. Nothing wrong with that, sometimes clutter or disoragaisation can make you feel unhappy. But if someone had told you to re oragainze your place when you wern't "into it" you may have thought they were being critical or trying to change you. But by telling folks you aren't happy with "you" they feel they should offer advice , solicited or not.I myself was glad to see you feeling better and appearing more motivated. Anyway I think you're doing fine . If I myself give you advice , it's not for anything other than maybe I've been there myself and understand , or I'm really trying to help. I guess you have to know what folks are just being critical and who really is trying to be good to you.
I think they can all go f*** themselves because you are you and only you and we like you that way!
Anthony of course makes lovely points as well. I'm just not feeling as eloquent tonight.
The only advice I like are ones from my friend Jack Daniels :)
Seriously though, advice is only as valuable as the people that it comes from.
People who can't give encouragment or think they have no fault are useless as their advice should are.
Hmmm, never had THAT problem ... right.
I think you need some chocolate. I know I do. I just got some.
My dog's behind is bleeding. Not her actual *ahem* pooper but on either side of it. WTF?! It's not profuse bleeding so she's gonna wait til tomorrow to see the vet. But still, why does my dog have to leave little bloody ass marks all over the place? What could be wrong?
Chocolate.
Shelly, I have NO idea! Let us know tomorrow what's going on though, k? And go ahead and eat some extra chocolate in the mean time :-)
Poor CC -- she's so beguiled by her Big City Boyfriend that she can't read the names right. SALLY was writing about her dog's hiney, not SHELLY... In all fairness, though, we're all still a little off-balance with the name-change. No offense intended, Sally -- you were just so doggone convincing under that pseudonym. :>) Give us a bit more time to adjust, please? Are there any online pet medicine sites (like emedicine.com for people), where you can research symptoms? CC, do you know if there are any reputable sites with such info?
CC, please don't forget that people share some traits with the critters when it comes to behavior. If you reward behavior that makes you feel less-than-wonderful, the behavior is likely to be repeated. Like someone giving you less attention than you need, and you running off on a plane trip and, um, servicing his vehicle, so to speak.
I'm not saying CPG would disrespect or manipulate you intentionally -- in fact, I'm presuming he wouldn't. I'm just trying to get you to look consciously at what you're communicating, so you'll get what you really want. Hey, even Dr. Phil agrees with this idea -- I've heard him say, "We teach people how to treat us." Whether one likes Dr. Phil or not, the statement proves itself by experience to be true. You're really due some good treatment within a relationship, and I'd love to see you get it. That's my only purpose in this latest bit of unsolicited advice. ;>)
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