Yawn
Every night we say that we're not going to stay on the phone for hours. Every morning I wake up tired. We have talked about everything. We were talking about DTD last night and CPG was all righteously angry on my behalf. I was trying to explain that I'm not necessarily interested in having someone slay that particular dragon. The dragon is semi-tame anyway and so long as you avoid that whole fire-breathing thing, it can't hurt you. I said that I'm basically purged of my anger toward DTD and that I will always have some fondness for who he was when I first met him and the effect he has had on me. Not all good, no, hardly, but not all of the results are bad either.
After several many hours of talking to CPG, I think I am just purged in general. Maybe not healed or past everything but DTD? That I'm past. That's in the past.
One down, four to go.
Yes, the house is still a disaster. And I am so, so tired. And it's pouring. I mean like sheets of rain. Thunder. Lightening. The whole nine yards.
But, you know what? I feel calm in a way that I don't ever remember feeling before.
After several many hours of talking to CPG, I think I am just purged in general. Maybe not healed or past everything but DTD? That I'm past. That's in the past.
One down, four to go.
Yes, the house is still a disaster. And I am so, so tired. And it's pouring. I mean like sheets of rain. Thunder. Lightening. The whole nine yards.
But, you know what? I feel calm in a way that I don't ever remember feeling before.
posted by barrie at 10:14 AM
10 Comments:
Calm is good. Updating my links now.
Just sit and watch the rain ... the streams and puddles forming, draining and reforming. Pseudo Zen. Past, present, future. Oh, and tell Mrs Flylady to take a pass on today.
I remember talking with my wife like that, back when we lived an hour away from each other. On the other subject, I think you realized that DTD served a purpose in your life , no matter how many negative things were there. I have learned that in my life I've had to put myself in positions with messed up people to get ahead one way or the other. When dealing with that personality type, it's best to obtain as much power over them in some way as soon as possible.
hey what if Mrs. AR was secretly your mom/dad/brother/ etc...
Yay! Kenna's home! When/if I come up your way to see CPG on his home turf, will you come into the city so I can meet you too????
LOL mdmh, I can think of something to tell flylady!
Anthony, why does it always have to be about gaining power in the relationship?
No one in my family is sensible/kind enough to be Ms. A.R. :)
I didn't create the system, I just work with it. Most who hold power in the realtionships we have are aware of it , whether they acknowledge it or not. Most who have power abuse it. I put myself in positons of power in business for the common good. I have been on both sides of the fence, therefore I don't tend to abuse power in any realationship. Many people do this. Like it or not, equality in any type of human realtionship is impossible. The balance of power may be stronger or weaker in different aspects of any realtionship, but it boils down to who needs who the most...
If you are too afraid of getting hurt , for example, it puts you in a weakened position. Life is about risk and hurt just to gain a few moments of happiness, imagined or not. In the end I guess it all matters how special we felt in the moment, and not always dwelling on the motives of those who hurt us. Don't fear opening up or getting hurt so much and you may find somting out about yourself, whether things go bad or go great, it's time for you to live life...
I think you're starting to learn this concept, especially in you current "DTD" comments... Hurt a while , take what you can and go on with life...
Oh Anthony, sometimes your comments just break my heart. If I had three wishes, one would be for you to see that it could be different.
Rain makes for a beautiful release of so much soemtimes... :)
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